Asylum
The rain was coming down quite hard now, cascading in sheets down the side of the buildings. The campus was quiet as Nick made his way across the lawn between the Social Sciences building and the Steinburg hall dormitory. He walked quickly, listening to the splashes of his shoes in the small puddles of water that had gathered in the grass. He pulled his hood over his head, even though his hooded sweatshirt was already soaked. He could see lights on in most of the dorm rooms, but the Social Sciences building was dark. He looked to his left, towards Main Street, and was relieved to find that there were no cars. No cars and no lights. No people. He was confident that they wouldn’t find him here.
He entered the dorm building, and stopped to shake off the water, then walked up the stairs. There were some students out and about in the hallway. As he walked passed them, he tried to ignore their glances. He climbed to the third floor, and looked out the staircase window. The parking lot was dark, except for one set of headlights. He peered into the darkness, trying to identify what kind of car it was, but he couldn’t tell. After a moment, he decided that it was probably just a student. Perhaps a couple back from a late night date. He sat down against the wall and pulled out his wallet. The card was still inside, and he took it out and looked at it.
Dr. Robert Long, M.D
He remembered the man that gave him the card. He had said, “if you need anything, or if you remember anything, call me right away.” Oddly enough, Nick could not remember the significance of the Doctor, or why he had given him the card. He remembered that he could trust no one, however. He knew he was being hunted for the knowledge he had. Knowledge that they did not want him to have. The kind of knowledge that gets people to looking for you, trying to keep you silent.
He thought about things that once were, and the things that he thought could be. It all seemed so far away now. His family, his friends. They all thought he was a criminal, but they were all wrong. He felt like a C.I.A agent whose cover had been blown, in a foreign country, and now he was on the run, just trying to get back to his home. He thought about her, and saw her face in his mind. She was the one light he saw in this mass of darkness. She was the only one who had stuck by his side, and refused to give up even though being with her put her very much in danger. Emma would believe him.
I am an exile, he thought. He had tried in vain to convince his family of what was happening. His father had called the police, saying that he needed to turn himself in so this could all get sorted out. He remembered his mother crying as he threw his hands up and asked why they refused to believe him. He saw the tears in her eyes as he pushed passed his father and ran out the front door, into the night.
His car had been taken, so he had walked the five miles to the campus of the college he had attended until last semester, when his life was seemingly thrust into a black hole. Things had been easy back then. All he had to worry about was getting to class on time, studying, and working. He felt a twinge of sadness because he knew that things would never be the same. He just wanted to see her one more time before he would be forced to disappear.
He got up and walked down the hall. He could hear music coming from some rooms, while some were already dark. He came to room 313 and knocked quietly on the door. Inside, he heard the volume on the T.V go down. She was still awake, he thought, and his heart was lifted slightly. Someone walked up to the door on the other side and waited. He knocked quietly again.
He heard the deadbolt disengage, and the door cracked open. It was her roommate.
“Nick… what are you doing here?” she said. She looked afraid.
“I need to see her, please,” he said. “Now.”
“I need to see her, please,” he said. “Now.”
“You can’t,” she said, “You’ve already caused enough trouble for her. She needs to move on, and you need to turn yourself in.”
He felt himself growing angry, because she was looking at him the way that one would look at a convicted felon.
“This is none of your business. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Just let me see her.”
She said nothing for a moment, and then opened the door slowly to let him in.
“Thank you,” he said, “I promise I won’t be long.”
“I’m only doing this because I know she would kill me if she knew you had come and I hadn’t let you see her. So don’t thank me.” She sat down on the couch and turned the volume back up on the T.V. Nick walked down the short hall to her room, and again knocked lightly on the door.
“Yes?”
“It’s me,” he said.
“Nick…” he heard shuffling in the room, and she opened her door. She looked shocked to see him. He hugged her and she said “what are you doing here? Are you still running?” Emma looked gravely concerned as she pulled away from him.
“I had to see you one more time,” he said, “I don’t think that I’ll be able to avoid being caught much longer.”
Then she said something that surprised him. “Babe… you’ve already been caught. You just don’t know it. I wish that I could make you see reality.”
“It’s alright,” he said, taking her hand. “I’m going to find a way out of this. I’m sorry for putting you through all of this; causing you so much pain. I wish none of this had ever happened.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “It’s not as bad as you think. If you just go to them and tell them the truth, maybe you can get help.”
He stared at her incredulously. “They can’t help me. I’ve tried to tell you this already. I’ve tried to tell everyone. They’ll kill me if they find me. But there’s no point in arguing now. I just wanted to see you again.”
She looked defeated and shook her head. “Alright,” she said. She collapsed onto the bed and began to cry. He sat down on the bed with her and held her. She took out her cell phone for a moment, and then slid it under her pillow.
“I can’t do this anymore, Nick,” she said quietly. “I can’t keep living in this fantasy that you’re going to be alright, and things will go back to normal.”
“I know,” he said, “just sit with me for a while, and then I’ll leave, and you can move on with your life.” She was still crying, but she nodded and laid down.
They were still laying on the bed when he heard a loud knock on the front door. He jumped up, his heart pounding. She looked at him with wide eyes.
“They’re here,” he said quickly, “I won’t let them hurt you. I’ll kill them before I let them hurt you.”
“Just calm down,” Emma said, “please just stay calm babe. I’m sorry…”
“Sorry for what?” he asked, confused.
He heard what sounded like multiple people enter the apartment. “Back there,” he heard her roommate say.
“She called them? She brought them here!” He shouted. He ran his hands threw his hair and clenched his fists, getting ready to defend his girlfriend. She grabbed his hand and he turned to look at her.
“No, she didn’t,” Emma said. “I did…”
The room began to spin. “You…” he said, “You… brought them here?”
“You’ll see that everything is going to be okay,” she said.
“How could—” he began, but the door opened with a bang. There were two police officers, and another man wearing a button down shirt with a tie.
“Take me,” he said, “but don’t touch her.”
“Nick, we are not going to hurt her,” said the man in the tie. He nodded to the police officers, who began to move towards Nick.
“Emma, how could you betray me?” he asked. She was crying harder now.
“Please forgive me,” she said. He turned back towards the police. Something in his brain was telling him to fight, but part of him just wanted to give up. The girl he loved had set him up. He was tempted to give in and let himself be taken. Fight or flight. His survival instinct kicked in, however, and as one of the officers reached for him, Nick lunged at him.
“No Nick!” Emma shouted, but he was lost in a fog of anger. He swung wildly until he felt something come down hard on the back of his head. He went limp and fell to the floor. Seeing stars, he looked up at the cop who was now on top of him, holding him down. The other officer took out cuffs, turned Nick over, and put them on him. The man in the tie knelt down beside him.
“It’s alright,” he said, confusing Nick even more.
“Fuck you,” Nick said. The cops pulled him to his feet, and began to push him out the door. He glanced back at Emma, who was hysterical, and said “I love you.”
In the living room, her roommate was talking to a third officer. She looked at him somberly and said “it had to be done, I’m sorry.”
The police led him out of the dorm room, and he saw that students had gathered in a group down the hall, watching the commotion. As the cops took him down the stairs, he shook his head.
I can’t go like this, he thought. As they reached the second floor, he saw the window above the staircase. He lifted his leg and drove it into the knee of the officer behind him, who let go and fell to the ground in pain. The other cop reached for his taser, but before he could aim, Nick ran to the window and dove through, head first. He heard and felt the glass shatter around him, and realized as he fell that his hands were cuffed, so he could not break his fall. He closed his eyes as the ground came up to meet him. He heard a sickening thud, and everything went dark.
------------------------------------------------------
He remembered waking slightly. There were people standing over him. One of them was the man in the tie. Another was doing something to his head. He struggled to move, to fight. He received a shot, and lost consciousness again.
When he awoke again, his head was throbbing. He heard quiet voices around him. He opened his eyes a little, and realized that he was in the hospital. He was shocked to see his mother and father sitting in chairs near his bed. Emma was standing in the corner, tears in her eyes. There was a doctor explaining something to them. The man in the tie was on his phone. Nick’s mouth was dry as he opened it to speak.
“What is going on?” he mumbled. They all stopped and looked at him. The doctor smiled and said, “You’re awake, and you can speak. That’s a good sign.”
His mother rushed to him and kissed his cheek. “I’m so glad you’re okay, honey,” she said through tears. “We should never have let you leave the house earlier.”
His father was looking at him with loving concern, but he didn’t say anything.
“Should have never let me leave the house? What are you talking about? What is happening?”
“His mind is in a severe state of distress right now, so if he still seems out of touch with reality, that’s why. We will let Doctor Long explain to Nick what has happened,” said the emergency room doctor. “I will be back in a little while to check up on him.”
Doctor long… the card in his wallet.
The man in the tie said, “He’s awake, I have to go. Yes, I’ll call you after I speak to him.” He hung up his phone and came over to Nick’s bed.
“Hello Nick,” he said, “I’m Doctor Robert Long. You should start to remember me shortly.”
“I have your card in my wallet,” Nick said, “Why?”
“Well believe it or not, we know each other,” the Doctor said. “You see Nick, I am your psychiatrist.”
Nick felt overwhelmed. “Psychiatrist for what? None of this makes any sense.”
“It will, in time. Here’s what has happened,” the doctor pulled what looked like an X-ray picture out of his file. “Do you see this? It’s your brain.”
“Okay,” Nick said, waiting.
The Doctor pointed to what appeared to be a small mass in the picture. “This is a tumor in your brain, Nick. Before you panic, let me explain.” He pulled up a chair and sat close to Nick. “Do you remember earlier tonight, when you went to your parents house and tried to tell them that someone was coming after you? Well someone was, but it was me. And I wasn’t trying to hurt you. You have a small benign tumor in your brain, which is pushing on this part right here,” he pointed at the picture again. “This tumor, it turns out, is what has been affecting your mental faculties for the past month or so.”
“I don’t understand,” said Nick.
“Well it’s rare, but it does happen. You see, the tumor is pushing on a very important part of your brain; the part of your brain that controls emotions and perceptions. This created a kind of marriage between delusion and reality. You were not completely delusional, as say, someone with schizophrenia would be. You knew that someone was trying to find you. The break with reality came as you forgot who I was, and your past visits to me for your mental illness, which turns out, isn’t actually a mental illness at all. You couldn’t figure out who was trying to catch you, so your brain coped with that by creating the idea that someone was out to hurt you. Your parents wanted you to wait for me to get to their house, but you were confused and afraid, so you fled.”
Nick closed his eyes. He could not believe what was happening.
“When you got to Emma’s, she knew that you were having one of your fantasies, as you’ve had a few of them over the past month or so. She had her roommate call your parents, who called me. I only brought the police with me because I knew that you would not be yourself, that you would not believe anything I had to say. I did not want you or anyone else to get hurt.” He chuckled lightly. “That did not exactly work out as I had planned.” He waited a moment, then said, “Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
Reality was slowly starting to hit Nick again. He nodded slowly. It felt like some massive realization that he had been missing all along. It all made sense now.
“So I have a tumor… and it’s making me insane,” he said.
“In essence, yes,” said Doctor Long. “But the tumor is very operable. There are risks, of course, but the doctors here are confident that they can remove it without any permanent damage. Then you’ll be ‘sane’ again.”
He looked at Emma, who was still standing in the corner. “Don’t blame yourself,” Nick said, “If you wouldn’t have brought them, who knows what could have happened?”
“I got you hurt,” she said quietly.
“This?” he said, pointing to his head. “It’s just a bump, and if you wouldn’t have called them, we might not have found out about this…tumor, until it was too late. Thank you.”
Doctor Long told him to get some rest, and that his family would be back in the morning to see him. He kissed his parents and Emma goodbye, and rolled over to try and sleep.
---------------------------------------------------------
He looked around. His head was killing him, and he was in a hospital bed. What the hell is going on? He thought. He felt a sense of panic. He must have been caught. He considered fleeing the hospital, but that would be too risky with so many people around. Then he remembered something. He pulled out his wallet, and saw a card.
Dr. Robert Long, M.D
The card held some meaning for him, but he could not figure out exactly what it was. There was a phone number. Maybe this doctor could help him. Nick knew that he wouldn’t have the man’s card if he was an enemy. He picked up the phone next to his bed and dialed.
“Hello?”
“Who is this?” Nick asked.
“Nick? This is Dr. Long. Is everything alright?”
“How do I know you?” Nick asked.
Dr. Long realized that there was only one way to help Nick. “Look Nick, I am a friend. You have my card because I can help you. I’m assuming you’ve been captured, and you’re in custody right now. I’m coming to you right now. Don’t try to leave, you’ll only attract attention.”
Nick felt relieved. He was glad he had gone with his gut feeling to call the Doctor. “Alright,” he said, “I’ll wait for you.”
THE END
